My coaching story
As a young person, I always thought I wanted to be an Engineer. When I was 19, I took a break from that intention to study massage therapy as I always found the human body fascinating. Learning massage helped me become more embodied, however, I found the short, superficial sessions day after day started to drain me. I got discouraged and went back to the safe road of engineering.
10 years later, my body had enough of me ignoring it in the world of engineering. I had been clinging to my work in an unhealthy way, lacking even the concept of boundaries and it finally made me crash into a proper burn-out.
I sometimes think of these years of my life as being asleep. I walked around the world like a zombie - for me to be able to feel anything, it needed to be extremely intense like 14hr dance marathons or hard friction sex.
It wasn't until I started to work with my inner child that I really began to wake up. I uncovered buried memories and traumas, learned how to feel them fully, and how to release them gradually. I also learned that I am strong enough to hold myself through it - it's great to have support and also important to learn to trust your own capacity. Understanding my feelings and beginning to live instead of just being alive started a chain reaction. It brought me face-to-face with everything that was buried inside of me. It was time to deal with all the shit I couldn't face before. What helped me most in this was learning meditation, tantra and re-connection with touch and sexuality.
I don't ever want another burnout, but I'm grateful for having had such a strong experience. It shook me up and caused me to question my truths and beliefs. The break I had to take as a result of my burnout gave me time to think, feel and breathe. It also gave me time to study different types of massage which included everything I was missing in my first massage training. I learned to work with energy, engage my intuition around people's trigger points, and I learned how to help and support people in deep healing.
"Connection is why we are here: it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives"